Off the Beaten Path by
lint138I've been looking for this one for two weeks, because it so perfectly satisfies what I want to see for Kara and Lee just now.
1.
I want to see the love, because no matter what, I think you have to be pretty frakking blind to say that Kara and Lee didn't have an ounce of love between them. In fact, I kind of think they had so much love that it made it impossible for them to be together. They just loved each other in too many ways and some of them contradicted the others. This story totally captures that complicated, crazy, intense love they had that was always roiling beneath the surface. They could never really keep the love out of their eyes and I can practically smell the wood of the bar and the stale beer and the cigarette smoke that's permeating the air as the Kara and Lee in this fic just gaze at each other, it's so real.
A thousand years ago, before all our hears were broken by "Daybreak," there was a thread where some genius wrote that the "I missed you," "I missed you too," was one of the greatest, most powerful declarations of love in any television show, ever. I wholeheartedly agree, and the mirror scene Lint wrote here doesn't lack any of that power. It's perfectly preserved and just as heart-wrenchingly tragic, just in a different time and place.
2.
I want Kara and Lee to behave like human beings, not like stereotypes or mystic-purpose-having angels or society-dooming dumbasses. One of the things that made the Miniseries and Season 1 so amazing was how real and raw and human the characters were. As time went on, I think the show lost a lot of that rawness (though it did come back from time to time, like in the New Caprica arc (Tigh blew my mind with every second of screentime he had) and maybe a little bit during "The Oath") and the characters got a little too plastic. Here, Kara and Lee are just two regular people, living their unremarkable lives and going about their unremarkable business, when those damned cycles throw them back together. They react like two regular people, and share a drink and reminisce a bit, and nothing crazy involving mandalas or explosions or even wild bathroom sex happens. They're just two regular people sharing a moment out of time before going back to real life.
3.
I want it to be a little sad, because I'm just like that. Also, I've come to a place in my Kara/Lee shipping where I really and truly believe they were no good for each other. I don't think they could have ever gotten past Zak, and in some ways I wouldn't have wanted them to. Maybe I could have handled it before we found out about the tabletop almost-frak, but for them to do that and then get together years later... I think I would question their conscience. I don't think Kara ever had a time in her life where she was fully dealing with all of the baggage she was carrying, and I think a lot of her baggage was of the type to make her incredibly, fantastically unsuited for being in a relationship. I think she truly cared for Lee in a phenomenal and profound way, but I don't think she was ever in a place where she was psychologically able to reconcile her love for him with all of the feelings of guilt and inadequacy and distrust she was carrying around. Lee had his own problems, and since I get Lee a lot less than I get Kara, I really can't nail down what his deal was as succinctly as I can with Kara. I think Lee had a bit of a pattern with being hurt by and then deliberately hurting the people he loved the most in his life. He really was a serious grudge-holder (he learned from the best) and he was largely incapable of dealing with his emotions honestly. They might have worked things out if they could have talked, but they were both so weighted down with phobias and mental blocks and misplaced survival instinct that they were probably never completely honest with each other. They never dealt with their collective problems rationally because they weren't even capable of dealing with their personal problems rationally.
Anyway, what I'm trying to say is, I heart fic where Kara and Lee aren't together. Hello,
Off the Beaten Path.I'm not so far gone that I'm unaccepting of anything less than total heartbreak, so I'm okay with the little bit of a "to be continued..." vibe this has, but I prefer to think it really did end here. I can't deny canon—I've tried and it won't work—so I need that bittersweet, chest-aching, sick-making feeling right now. I want to feel like Lee (bastard) felt in that meadow the second time Kara left him.
P.S.– I know I said I wouldn't do anything to taint your belief, but I didn't know how to write this rec without being totally honest about how I feel regarding Kara and Lee. I guess I'm still grieving their relationship and the passing of
Battlestar altogether, and this is just how I'm dealing with it right now. Sorry.